A special Day

A few weeks ago, a nurse said to Meg, some nice trousers you got there!! Meg was smiling and I said, Yes she got them for her Birthday September 12th... I noticed Meg was watching a bit confused??Birthday???  I can completely understand why she was so confused as back then in September 2014 I had a problem... My family and friends wanted to come and celebrate Meg's birthday in the hospital, but  even the afternoon before the 12th I couldn't tell anything about that Friday the 12th, when family and freinds should come  etc. ... for me it was like a black unknown time. When I went to go for dinner I walked into the neurosurgeon and he said , "Yes, I am on my way to  Meg. I want to check her wound on her head if it was healed properly, so less chances on Infections...  as I suddenly have a free timespace in the operation room tomorrow. I replied: ohh that would be such a fantastic gift for her Birthday "  even the other doctor remembered me saying, I don;t care when this churgery takes place, even if it is on her birthday for heaven's sake we waited long enoug for it due to that wound don;t let a birthday be a stand-in -the -way. And my words became a profety, On September 12th , her 13th Birthday she came back from a 3 hours operation  just before the time she was born 13 years ago. She was complete again. Everything which belonged in her body, all the bones, it was there. I descided to postphone her party to a later moment where she would be able to take actively part in.

So that talk about the trousers reminded me back to that thinking of me back then. Meg and me descided  March 6th 2015 is a perfect day to celebrate her 13th birthday. As that is also the day nine months after the accident. A baby is also 9 months in a mum's body. And then a mother need to share her precious baby with the father and the rest of the world. It is the start of helping her baby develop in a happy person with selfesteem and a person whom can survive in this world.

Coincidently or not, from last Monday onwards we were told to give Meg the full possibilities  to focus on her rehabilitation. With other words we have to take a step back..... Meg and me are a team , she watched the clock and towards her brace and I asked the nurses: At what time was her brace attached to her arm??? Most often they said on on ... time. oh that is 4 hrs ago, it can be taken off.
Meg needs to learn also ask others and I need to learn to trust the people whom take care of her now when I am not there anymore. The new dayscedule was giving me only 2 hrs a day visiting time per day! I bet you all can imagine I was completely lost Monday and Tuesday. I cried in the afternoon, during the night and also in the morning. It was an abrupt change and it didn't feel good to me, also as I wasn;t able to explain it myself to Meg.... I called the doctor for a talk  (took my mother along for backup) and he explained why they want us to take a step away from Meg. I can find myself in his arguements, but 2 hrs a day is nearly nothing compared to the 7-8 hrs . So he asked what would feel good for me? I said be there in the mornings and come back in the evening. Also rules for visiters are more strict now, only on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday eve and in the weekend with max 2 persons at a time. I need to keep an eye on what Meg can handle, She looks  good and has fun when visit comes, but afterwards she is often exhausted. When I think it wil be a visit which asked a lot from her I don;t plan any other visiters anymore in that weekend. So to all whom want to visit Meg, please be patient a visit moment for you wil come eventually. Send her a card if you want, She will love it!

Meg Nijsten
p/a Adelante
kliniek de Valkhorst
Onderste straat 29
6301 KA Valkenburg a/d Geul
The Netherlands

It was also on that same Monday late eve my sister reacted to a link I placed on my facebook wall about a very special place in South of Scotland. I posted  I was dreaming/ doubting of going there to do voluntering work in the gardens. She wrote I think it would do you so good. I am Sponsoring 10 Euro, whom follows??  In half a day time she messaged me think you got the money and now you HAVE to go ;-) It made me cry again, but this time tears of gratitude and joy, that people some I even never met gave money for me to have a time out for myself. You know even thinking of me being there brings tears to my eyes. Feels like the afterbirth tears, all mothers will recognise :-) I wil definitely miss Janna and Meg and I think when I am there I'll be most probably crying for few days...  but I also know I need this too for myself  I'll hopefully come back with new energy .

But first tomorrow a day with presents for Meg. And some treats for the other children and nurses, She is soo looking forward to it, Janna and me bought a dress for her, It wil be her first dress she actually wears, ever since. As she wants to wear festive cloths tomorrow we gave it to her this evening, so the nurses can dress her in the morning,

 

As and exemption we are allowed to take her from 15h  to the nearby RonaldMc Donald house but with the advice of Max 2 pers. at a time. Which we wil try to follow, ofcourse.

Now bedtime for me, as an exciting day ahead for all of us, Let's celebrate life as it comes!!